The Taboo Topic
Talking to parents about inheritance is uncomfortable. We feel like "vultures waiting for death." But avoiding this topic often leads to:
- Conflicts between siblings after parents' death
- Legal disputes over property
- Broken family relationships
- Missed opportunities to help each other
"I want to let my parents live out their days in their home with my siblings, but I would consider resolving inheritance in advance."
Why Resolve Inheritance Early?
1. Help When It's Needed
Your sister needs money for a mortgage now, at age 32. Not in 25 years when she inherits a third of parents' apartment.
2. Fair Distribution
Parents can fairly distribute assets according to children's needs. One got education, another got a car, third got money for housing.
3. No Surprises
Everyone knows what to expect. No disappointments, no feelings of injustice.
4. Parents See Results
Parents can see how their help changed children's lives. It's more beautiful than leaving everything in a will.
How to Start the Conversation
Step 1: Choose the Right Time
- Not at a family celebration
- Not when parents are ill
- Ideally a peaceful weekend, stress-free
Step 2: Start from Care, Not Money
Instead of "Mom, what will happen to the apartment?" try:
"Mom, Dad, we'd like to talk about how we can help you in the future and plan together."
Step 3: Ask About Their Wishes
- Do they want to stay living at home as long as possible?
- Do they have enough for retirement?
- Do they want to help us now or later?
Step 4: Present Options
Let parents decide, but show them options:
- Lifetime gifting
- Will with specific conditions
- Lifetime rent with profit distribution
HomeGrif as Neutral Partner
When dividing family property, there's often a problem:
- Who determines the apartment's value?
- Who pays out siblings?
- How to ensure fairness?
HomeGrif can serve as a neutral partner:
Scenario: Family with 3 Children
- Parents (70, 68) own apartment worth €180,000
- Son (45) has his own housing
- Daughter (42) needs help with mortgage
- Son (38) lives abroad
Solution:
- Parents sign contract with HomeGrif
- They receive one-time payment €54,000 (30%)
- Divided: €18,000 to each child
- Parents receive monthly rent and stay living there
- After their death — investors get apartment, not children (but they already got their share)
Advantages of This Approach
| Traditional Inheritance | Lifetime Resolution | |
|---|---|---|
| When children get money | After parents' death | When they need it |
| Who decides | Court/law | Parents |
| Conflict risk | High | Low |
| Transparency | Often none | Complete |
What If Siblings Disagree?
Sometimes one sibling pushes for resolution, another refuses. In that case:
- Respect everyone's opinion
- Invite an independent mediator
- Take time — there's no rush
- Remember: the final decision is parents'
Important: The conversation about inheritance isn't about money. It's about the family functioning even after parents are gone. The sooner you resolve it, the less stress for everyone.